Let me make it clear I have always thought waiters do a tough job with not much thanks, but why this new found respect? Well last weekend was a friends birthday party, a significant birthday might I add, but isn’t every birthday? Anyway, some very good friends of his decided to host a party for him at theirs and a bunch of us helped out by supplying drinks, glasses, gifts, a huge chocolate cake, merriment and oddly enough copious amounts of spring rolls (you know who you are).
The two lovely ladies who took it upon themselves to make sure all went swimmingly got to talking and somehow the idea of ‘door bitches’ being required came up. That morphed into myself and another friend being asked to appear on the night dressed in nothing but black shorts and a bow ties. A few giggly messages followed and before long it dawned on us two volunteers that the ladies were not a kidding…. I was worried if I turned up on the night fully dressed I would be customarily stripped before being allowed entry. So being the game for a laugh I am I agreed to give it ago, but not before making sure I would not being doing it alone, safety in numbers and all that.
However, the idea of standing at the door in just a pair of shorts with my legs made me nervous so I was relived when my fellow waiter suggested we be “waiters with a twist”. The twist being we go topless with just a bow tie and some white cuffs, that he had the genius to make, and I wore some leather trousers while he wore some fetching pvc ones with rather strategically placed zips. Well the outfits went down a storm but I am not so sure about the level of service we gave!
The idea was we greeted people as they arrived, my fellow waiter had to get them to sign the birthday boy’s card and all I had to do was usher them into the party and give them a welcome cocktail. Now let me just say everyone did indeed sign the card (well done fellow waiter), but ashamedly I have to admit not everyone got their welcome cocktail. Seriously all I had to do was say “hello welcome to the party, can I offer you a welcome cocktail”… easy as that, but no one briefed me on the fact that not everyone would simply say yes. Some actually asked for an alternative drink!? Red wine, water, white wine, fizz, my head was spinning, and oh dear god “where is the red wine?” I completely forgot what the cocktail was so when people asked me I either made a name up or just said “it’s alcohol darling don’t be so precious”. Who knew meet and greet could be so stressful?
Still I did get my bum pinched (or was that the hostesses dog biting my bum) and a few offers of work ‘at the end of the night” so maybe I didn’t do to bad after all…..